There's more to starting school than just buying notebooks and pencils and throwing the kids on the bus...
Parents can use the following eight tips to help their children successfully adapt to the start of a new school year and all the changes and transitions starting a new school year brings with it as well as getting the most out of their time in school.
Form The Right Opinions...
First, parents must realize that their children - especially young children - form much of their opinion about a given situation based on what they hear and see from their parents.
When parents describe new things as fun, interesting, and exciting, then children will tend to form the same opinion of new things.
When parents consistently express that good things will always come (even if they can't be seen yet) from new experiences, new acquaintances, and new interactions, then children will usually share this same belief.
Life Is About Contrasts...
Second, parents must help their children realize that life is a series of events, experiences, and contrasts. In life, there will be ups and downs. There will be group-time and alone-time. Of course, there's play time and work time. There's sit-still time and run-time. There's even laughing time and crying time. There's full-time and there's hungry time. Yes, there are people we enjoy more and others less. There are things we like and things we do not like. And, there are new experiences and old experiences.
These contrasts are a natural and normal part of life. These contrasts are what enable each of us as humans to derive the greatest fulfillment and enjoyment in life. In other words, without one, we cannot appreciate the other.
By helping children understand these contrasts - both positive and negative - parents empower their children to get through the negative times with the full expectation that the positive times will come shortly and the negative times help us enjoy the positive times more fully.
Manage Expectations...
Third, parents can help their children by managing their expectations. By describing what will happen at a high-level from start to finish, parents give their children a sense of control and well-being. They give them a sense that everything is going to work out alright because they know what's going to happen before it ever happens.
In this same line, if there are young children involved, parents might consider taking their children to the school before it starts and walking them around and showing them what it looks like, what's going to happen, and place an emphasis on the playground and the fact that there will be other children there when school starts for them to play with.
Everyone Is Special...
Fourth, Parents must help their children understand their uniqueness. Children must be taught to understand that they are not to compare themselves with other children. They must be taught that each person has their own strengths and weaknesses. They must understand that just because they are really "good" in a certain area does not make them superior to other children. Likewise, just because they aren't as "good" in another area does not make them inferior to children around them.
It is critical that parents help children in this area on an ongoing basis. There are all kinds of areas and ways that children will tend to judge, evaluate, and compare themselves to others - in a negative light - if they are not consistently reminded by parents that they are unique and special. So, help your children learn to assess themselves in a positive way.
Ramp Up To The Start...
Fifth, parents can "ramp up" to the start of a new school year by involving their children in the process of getting new clothes and supplies, preparing a "workspace" where schoolwork can be done, cleaning lunch boxes or sports equipment, or anything that builds anticipation in children's minds that something good and exciting is about to happen - like taking a fun trip.
Also, parents should make as many connections as they can to things that a child really likes. For example, if a young boy is passionate about toy cars and trucks, then it should be easy to get him fired up about riding a bus to school.
What about cases where a child is particularly afraid to break away from parents? One suggestion is that parents do a project with the child where they paste pictures of the family, any pets, a bedroom or play area on the child's notebook or supply box. This will serve as a visual reminder to the child that home isn't very far away and that it will only be a small amount of time until they are back to their familiar environment with their family.
Keeping The Lines Open...
Sixth, it's up to parents to keep the lines of communications open and to keep their children comfortable in talking with parents. Parents should repeatedly remind children that it is always okay for them to ask any question they have about anything of their parents. Parents should frequently encourage children to talk about anything that is on their mind. And in fact, parents should ask their children to confide in them first and foremost - so that as loving parents, they can give their children the best advice and counsel.
And then, parents should ask questions of their children in a way that encourages each child to open up. For example, a question like, "How was your day?" leaves room only for an answer like "OK" or "Fine". In contrast, a question like, "What kinds of things happened today?" encourages a child to open up and start talking.
Also, keep in mind that some children need "transition" time before they are ready to open up. In other words, one child might open up best immediately after school while another might open up best right before bed time. And, trying to get information out of a child before they are ready to open up will only cause them to resent you instead of appreciating you. A little experimenting will quickly reveal when it is that your child prefers to talk and share.
Teach The Teacher...
Seventh, parent must not assume that teachers will "learn" how to most effectively teach and train their children. This means that parents should not hesitate to provide teachers with information about their children.
For example, if a child is a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner, teachers should be made aware of this. Or, if a child learns best by touching and fiddling with something while an adult is teaching, the teacher should be informed of this and asked to accommodate the child as much as they can - as long as the child is not a disruption or distraction to classmates.
By having these kinds of conversations with teachers, parents can influence their children's teacher's expectations and behaviors just like they can their children's.
Make It Meaningful...
Eighth, for children of all ages, parents should frequently remind their children of the importance of learning and studying. But this isn't enough. Parents need to help children understand the importance of what they are learning and how it will affect them for the rest of their lives. It's important to help children understand how the things they are learning - whether fundamentals like phonics or advanced-level mathematics - are used in everyday life.
For example, when parents help children understand that the people who are most successful in life are the people who have excellent reading, writing, and speaking skills, classes like English, Language, Literature, Speech, and so on take on a whole new level of meaning and importance in children's minds. What would otherwise be a boring class for a child becomes something very important to them.
For the most part, people (and your children are people) enjoy learning once they understand the benefit and the value they'll derive from the learning.
Conclusion...
These eight tips can help parents minimize the difficulty and the stress their children face when starting back to school and lay the foundation for a successful school year.
And, anyone can implement these tips. All that's needed is time - time invested in your children that will prove to pay off handsomely in future years.
