As the New Year approaches, you may already have a short list of habits you would like to break, goals you would like to reach, and other changes you would like to see in your life. You may even have your resolutions written down and posted on the fridge next to your jam-packed calendar, grocery lists and to do lists.
New Year's resolutions serve a useful purpose: they help us to reflect on our lives and make commitments to create positive changes. But they can also be overwhelming for busy moms who barely have any time to handle the everyday tasks of life.
Sometimes, the inspired resolutions we make at the end of one year and the beginning of another, become just another list we have to get done. We lose sight of the meaning behind the resolution, and focus more on whether or not we accomplished our goals.
This year, why not give yourself a big break, and set only one resolution? Your goal this year: Make time to do absolutely nothing.
Take a Break From Multi-Tasking
If you're like most moms, you probably can't remember the last time you took a break from life (no, the five minute flip through a magazine in the bathroom doesn't count!). Restoring your energy gets put on the backburner in favor of the demands of work and family.
Modern-day moms are masters at multi-tasking, and accomplish more in one day than most CEOs. But all of that moving about has a price. You may be a bit frayed around the edges, and less able to resist snapping at loved ones. You're probably so tired, you're used to being tired, and you may feel overwhelmed and underappreciated. In short, you are less you.
Everyone, especially moms, needs ample, regularly scheduled time to chill out and relax. You need time to putter around the house, wander aimlessly through antique shops, or even watch your favorite television shows. Basically, there need to be blocks of time when nothing is scheduled and nothing is needed from you, so that you can do what piques your interest in the moment.
Put "Do Nothing" Time On the Schedule
You may agree with the concept of doing nothing, but in order to integrate it into your life, you need to dedicate time for it. First, get out your calendar and take a look at the week ahead. Is there anything on the schedule that you could skip out of? For example, do you have to sit on the benches for every soccer practice, or could you miss one from time to time?
One strategy for finding time in your schedule is to negotiate with your husband for it. Perhaps he would be willing to make dinner two nights a week, or take the kids to the dentist instead of you, so you can get a little "do nothing" time. If you aren't married, ask a friend, sibling, or parent if they would be willing to help out once a week or even every other week.
Get Enough "Do Nothing" Time
"Do nothing" time is only effective if you have enough time to enjoy it. Your magic number - the amount of time you need to get the most out of your "do nothing" time - may be different than that of your husband, best friend, or kids. Start by aiming high, rather than shorting yourself. Pick one whole day to do nothing. At the end of the day, make note of how long it took you to feel relaxed, satisfied, and restored. Now you know how much time to put on your schedule.
Make it a Family Resolution
Doing nothing is also of great benefit to kids and your entire family. Children are often overscheduled and need time to just "hang out." Why not schedule one weekend day and one weeknight as "do nothing" time? Use that time to play games as a family, watch a movie, or take a spontaneous road trip. Or, just spend the day doing absolutely nothing at all. The point is: you have permission to do whatever you please, and if it is liberating to you, imagine what it could mean to your family.
Doing nothing can help you get back some of yourself faster than many of the self-improvement programs. You may be surprised how many of your original resolutions actually get accomplished inadvertently. Not because you had to, but because you felt like it that day. Committing to a block of "do nothing" time allows you to get back to your natural rhythms, which ultimately, get back to you.
Copyright (c) 2006 Pat Brill
Pat Brill is co-author of "Essentials for Starting a Womens's Group" http://www.womens-group.net and co-owner of Women's Group Busy Bites - http://www.womensgroupbusybites.com - a blog all about women. You can reach her at pat@womens-group.net.
